Good morning Cape Breton.
Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.
So yesterday we are all quiet and just watching TV, when this new noise happened. "DING DONG".
What is that? I don't know, but it made Tonya get up. So I got up.
She moved as quick as she could towards the door. I got excited as this is all new to me and ran after her.
She was upset as I was running around.
It happened again... "DING DONG" What was that? What was that? What was that?
Scrambling all fighter jets (that's me). We are at DEFCON 3
She goes towards the front door. Then she does something incredibly stupid. She pushes me away and closes the inner door. (We have a front mud room on this house with inner and outer doors)
I am panicked! I can't see what's going on.
I run to the living room and LEAP onto the love seat so that I can see outside. Damn! I can't get a clear shot.
I can hear Tonya talking with someone. I better run to the front door again. SHIT! She still has that door shut. I better bark to let her know I am there to protect her.
OMG! General, we better go to DEFCON 1
I better bark A LOT! Loud as I possibly can! That and jump on the door!
What's the Big Guy doing during this foray? Just sitting on the couch. Doesn't he realize that my non-furry mother could be in DANGER? I better run around a bit. Zoom into the kitchen. Argh... nothing can help me in here. I better run back to the living room.
I can't get traction on the hard wood floor. But I know that the Big Guy is impressed as I am going all out and know that I am going to hit the fireplace, but I expand my paws to their extreme size and turn my body. I know that I am still going backwards, but I put'er in 4 paw drive and stomp on the gas. One of my back paws hits one of my bones I've been chewing on. It goes flying towards the dinning room.
I put on the brakes and head towards the mud room door.
If only I were stronger, I would bust the door down and save her.
I better bark some more. Barks as loud as possible. Oh yes, and jump on the door. Almost forgot to jump on the door.
Wait! What just happened? I better stop barking and turn my ultra sensitive hearing towards the door. I've heard that word before. Tonya just said "Bye" to someone. Is she putting them in the kennel? I better check.
I run to the kennel. Nope, everything is safe there.
Back to the door. OMG! It's opening!
I squeeze past her and lets see what's happening in the mud room.
What the hell is going on? No one is there! Is this some kind of cruel joke?
Stand by, my ultra sensitive hearing tells me that someone is going down the stairs. I better scramble towards the window.
I run to the window and see someone walking away.
That right... you better just walk away... this house is being protected by Max.
OK, General, we can step it back down to DEFCON 5.
Shake it off. Oh so much adrenaline going through my body. Better do those little whimpers to let them know, I had their backs.
STAND BY! What's that in Tonya's hand? SWEET JESUS! It's a flyer. KILL THE PAPER!
Target acquired... prepare to engage... go to afterburner...
ABORT ABORT ABORT
The Big Guy has just intervened and is moving to intercept.
Deploy the air brakes, lower the landing gear, the stick is hard over, preparing for a 9 G turn. SHIT SHIT SHIT, we're going to impact the Big Guy.
Thank God; the Big Guy extended his hands to soften the crash.
Elapsed time, less than 3 minutes.
Bye bye for now.
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