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Thursday 31 May 2018

31/May/18 were you looking to sit here


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Every so often, I like to sit where the Big Guy does.  This makes me feel like I am the King of the house.

If you think of it, I sort of am.

The pick up my poop and carry it around, only to bring it home with them.

They brush my fur.

They buy my food and serve it to me.

They open the door for me to go outside.

I never walk alone.

They bath me.

They take me for drives.

They introduce me to other royalty.  i.e. other dogs

They bought a home for me to live in.

They buy me toys and will entertain me by playing with me with the toys they bought me.

They even help me with this daily blog.

Yup, I'm the King around these parts.

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Bye bye fur now

Wednesday 30 May 2018

30/May/18 you get up way too early for me


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

The sun isn't even up yet, and the Big Guy is moving around the house.  I wonder what he is going to do when he retires?

Very likely, mow the law.  

A lot.

He seems happy that he will be fully retired in a few years.  He isn't sure what he's going to do once he got his full pension and then starts drawing early from his Canada Pension Plan.

He says that he would like to travel and see Canada and the United States while he is retired.  But he will have to wait for Tonya to be retired before he can start traveling.

He is also thinking about building lawn furniture.  Not that it would sell that much.  Hard to compete against places like Canadian Tire and Home Hardware that makes metal folding chairs that are easy to transport.

The Big Guy has all these VHS tapes that he got in the basement.  He should really give those away to someone that would watch them.  Not like he is going to be watching them any day soon.

The TV industry just grew way too fast for people to catch up.  We went from Beta Tapes, to VHS Tapes, to DVD, HD DVD, then Blue Ray.  Now they got the Flat Screen TV.  Then you needed to upgrade to a 4K TV, now they got Smart TV's.  What is next?  Of course you got your cable TV subscriptions.  But you can also get Netflix and other subscriptions that you can watch.  Then people tend to go wacky when the power goes out as all this entertainment fails to work.

The Big Guy remembers when he used to play OUTSIDE.  Now kids are complaining that they are bored.  Doesn't matter that they own about a hundred video games.

Me...  I just like it when we go for walks. 

No subscription needed.

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Bye bye fur now

Tuesday 29 May 2018

29/May/18 sunny days


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So I didn't get to go for a walk yesterday.  But what the Big Guy did do, was put up a new pergola.  So that was his exercise for the day.  But not mine.

Then, later on, they had some BBQ pork chops and some BBQ steak.

No BBQ stuff for me though.  Always with the kibble.

The last week, I've been licking at my paws.  Tonya looked it up and it could be allergies.  Allergies makes my paws really itchy.  Now, this could be some of the human food that she fees me all the time.

No matter how much I beg, she has to stop feeding me table scraps.

GASP

I'm gonna die

No table scraps.  She is weak.  I need only stare at her while she is eating and she will give in.

So the Big Guy has this plan to burn out the trees stumps that are in his yard.  So far, the plan is going very well.  Every time he has a BBQ, he puts some charcoal on the tree stumps that are in his front yard.  So far, Big Guy 2, tree stump 0.  He's got two more to go.  I wonder if he got the easy light ones, would it go faster?  Either that, or just use BBQ starter fluid to get the briquettes burning and smoldering.  Either way, he's going to make it safer for his lawn mower when he is cutting the grass.

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Bye bye fur now.

Monday 28 May 2018

28/May/18 laying in the shade


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Happy Memorial Day to my readers in the United States

Lets try zooming out of this picture to see where I actually was...



They put this screw thing into the ground that let me explore new places to have fun.

It was nice and sunny outside.  But it was cold for the humans.  So they sat on the sunny side of the house while I laid in the shade of the next door neighbors house.

The Big Guy made sure to put on sun screen.  Last year, when he did this, he got sorta sun burnt.

Did you know, if you cut my fur, I could also get sun burnt?  Some times humans think that they will shave us down to allow us not to be as hot.  Well, I got my built in protection, and it's called my fur.  Yes, it will get hot as it's black fur.  But I will try to find the shade and stay there.

Yesterday the Big Guy was burning these tree stumps that he has in his front yard.  This is one of those "get-a-round-to-it" jobs.  He even removed a couple roots that has been pissing him off.  Soon enough, he will be able to get his lawn tractor right up next to the house when he is doing the lawn.

Today is supposed to be a nice day out.  Tonya asked the Big Guy to put up the new pergola that they purchased.

She also asked him to BBQ some steak.  He is motivated to BBQ the steak.  Not so much the pergola.  But he will get that done too.

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Sunday 27 May 2018

27/May/18 this is MY bone


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

The Big Guy got me a treat on Friday evening.  It was a bone.  This one I was allowed to chew on.  I've chew most of it and the end is about what is left of the bone.

I am what is known as a "power chewer".

Now that friggin new toy ball they got me.  It's got handles at either end.  Then, INSIDE the ball, is ANOTHER ball.  I can see the other ball, but I can't get to it.  Then, the outside ball, squeaks.  This ball was designed with power chewers in mind.

The handles are somewhat recessed so it's good for a human hand, but not so much my mouth.  So the Big Guy can play tug of war with me.  He gets to win a lot with that new ball.  He has the advantage there.

NOW, get my toy rope.  Well, now I have the advantage.  I can put all the muscles in my back into it and I just drop her into 4 paw drive and start pulling backwards.  Tonya will let go as I am pulling her right out of the chair.  Not so much with the Big Guy.  He can hold on pretty tight.  But then every so often, I will go in for a better hold of the rope.  Sometimes I forget how delicate a human hand can be.  I've nipped his hand trying to get a better hold of the rope.

So... do you know what I have to put up with today?  Floyd and Mylynne are coming by for BBQ.  That means that I can smell the BBQ, but I can't have any of the BBQ.  They are supposed to have hot dogs and hamburgers.  

Well, they better remember what I did to those hot dogs last year.  Remember that story?  I ate 16 hot dogs.  See this blog entry from last year.  Just click on the words below:

The Hot Dogs are MISSING!

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Saturday 26 May 2018

26/May/18 shhh... sleeping dog here


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

This is me being really good.

I'm sleeping.

Although my eyes were closed, I was wagging my tail as I knew the Big Guy was near me.  He found that sorta funny and I heard him giggling as he was taking the picture.

They went to see at movie last night without out.  It was called "Solo".  I guess it's a new Star Wars movie.  They said that they both really enjoyed the movie.

To make it up to me, they bought me a new ball and a chew bone.  So I guess I was OK with them seeing the new movie without me.

I could smell popcorn and butter on their hands.  

As I look outside the back window, I can see popcorn all over the back yard.  The birds are going to love that.  Either that, or those darn rats are going to get it before the birds do.

So I guess my non-furry Uncle Terry isn't going to get the contract to re-do the roof for the Big Guy's garage.  I wonder if the guy that does do the job is going to tease Terry about not doing stuff for his family.  There has been projects around Elaine's house that he could do as well.  I guess the hand rails for her back deck, need to be repaired.  That and a few other jobs.

In our front hedge, there is some daffodils that are growing there.  The Big Guy and Tonya didn't plant any bulbs there, but they are growing there.  Since they are inside the hedge, they are protected by the hedge.

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Friday 25 May 2018

25/May/18 Friday = Garbage day


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So today is Friday.  It's also garbage day.  It's also raining out.  That means that Tonya and the Big Guy may be waiting for the rain to stop before I go for my walk.

That may also mean that the Garbage Truck may come by before I get to sniff all the garbage bags.

They just don't seem to understand how important this is for me to be able to go sniffing the garbage.

The Big Guy put the garbage out this morning and there is two blue bags that only have papers in them.  Well there is a slight wind and those bags and moving, ever so slightly, when ever the wind blows.  Pretty soon, if the garbage guys don't arrive soon, those bags will be WAY down the street.

This has happened to him in the past.  You just can't tell Mother Nature to stop blowing the wind on garbage days.

There has been other times, where they have used clear garbage bags and the sea gulls and other birds have seen that there is the styrofoam trays used for the meats.  They will peck at the garbage thinking that there is yummy stuff left on the styrofoam tray.  The Big Guy knows to put those trays in a plastic shopping bag so that they are sorta camouflaged.

I'm telling ya, this garbage stuff is really important.

When we go for our walks, I see that there are some people that don't sort their garbage at all.  Everything goes into big black garbage bags.  There is stuff that could be recycled in there.  But for some reason, they don't sort their stuff.

Those are the garbage bags that I try to pee on to identify them to the garbage guys to get after them for not sorting.

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Bye bye fur now

Thursday 24 May 2018

24/May/18 I was all bendy while sleeping


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So it's getting to be that time of year where I am trying to find places that are cold on my fur.  I know that it's only going to get hotter out as the summer goes on.

The grass is growing greener each day that I go for my walks.  That also means that it hides any dangers too.  Sometimes there is broken glass.  Or worst.  Ticks.

So they try to keep me out of the taller grass.  

But they also give me this medicine that keeps the ticks at bay.

Yesterday the Big Guy made this pork chops in a mushroom gravy, that was made in his cast iron dutch oven.  It smelled really good.  But I'm not allowed to have pork.  So that was out.  They even had mashed cauliflower.  Now that's something that I could have.  But Tonya loved it so much, she ate all of her's.  Then the Big Guy put what was left into tupperware containers for their work.

Today, the Big Guy goes to work before Tonya, yet he comes home way after she is done her work.  Now tell me that is fair.  But then again, he also gets one more day off a week than she does.

That TV show, Survivor had it's last show for the evening, last night.  The Big Guy tried to stay up to watch it, but he fell asleep.  So he's going to have to watch it again to see who won.

One of Tonya's statues fell off the deck railing.  It's kinda windy out.  They really should be put someplace else so that they don't fall off the deck like that.

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Bye bye fur now

Wednesday 23 May 2018

23/May/18 can we go for walks in the rain


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So with this new job that the Big Guy has, he works a lot later than Tonya.  This means that when he gets home, Tonya is ready for bed.  He only stays up to play his XBox and doesn't pay that much attention to me.

Now he got this thing called Netflix.  Well, now he ignores me even more.

So it's supposed to rain all day today.  That doesn't bother the Big Guy too much.  He said he got everything done that he was supposed to get done outside to start with.  He put some grass seed down, so with the free rain, the grass and the grass seeds gets watered.

The Big Guy got some boiled eggs on for his breakfast.  He put some on for Tonya as well.  I am going to bug the crap out of her and I know that I will get some of her breakfast.  She is easy to get food from.

Tonya has these tulips that is next to the deck.  They are in the way.  When we go for walks, I like to walk along the side of the deck.  Well that's where the tulips are growing.  Not for long though.  I have knocked over a few of them and broke the stalks they grow on.  She would be better off cutting them and putting them in a vase on her table.  Otherwise, I'm going to eat them next time we go for a walk.

Tonya and the Big Guy have been trying to decide where to put their new pargoda.  The Big Guy got this flash of inspiration to put it over the BBQ area.  Tonya said that she likes the shade.  But the Big Guy said to sit in the shade of the house.  That we got lots of property.  I heard him talking about making a wooden pergoda like his middle brother had when he lived in Bedford.  Not quite that large mind you.  That way, there would never be any roof to worry about.  But he also said, that this project should wait until they got the new siding on the house.

Tonya says that he has a champagne taste on a beer budget.

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Tuesday 22 May 2018

22/May/18 if you would bring me something to eat, that would be nice


Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So both my humans had to go to work yesterday.  I was so excited when Tonya came home.  She really doesn't like it when I get that excited.  She yells at me and then I get MORE excited.  She will yell even more.  That really gets me going.  

Then she will be like, screaming at me.  

I loose my friggin mind.

She isn't like that Ceasar Milan who whispers at dogs.  He says that he has that calm energy.

I can take the calm right out of Tonya.

I have that special power.

I've tried that on the Big Guy.  It doesn't always work in my favour.  He will grab me and hold me down.  I don't mess with him too much.  I've made the mistake of nipping him.  Oh that gets a reaction from him that I didn't enjoy.

Then when I know that I'm going for a walk.  The Big Guy has to put my leash on.  Well, I am so worked up.  I've made the mistake of mouthing his hand while he is reaching out with the leash.  I have found myself tied up in the leash.  Wondering what the hell just happened.

He will leave me tied up for a few seconds to see if I have calmed down.

Normally he doesn't have to do that twice.

Then there is the beginning of the walk.  I am like Tigger the Tiger. I am bouncy and I jump in the air.  The Big Guy will time it so that he hip checks me while I'm in the air.  Or he will push my face in the opposite direction while I'm still in the air.

Normally I'm good by the time we reach the end of the driveway and start our walk.

Everyone says that Bernese Mountain Dogs are gentle giants.

ha ha

NOT ME!

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