30/Sep/16 this isn't my laughing face

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Do you see what Tonya puts me through.  You can see that she is smiling in the picture.

The last two pictures, she was feeding me my apple.  I really like apples.

So I heard that a lot of people enjoyed yesterday's post.  Doggies like me feel that we have to protect the humans that we live with.  They give us so much, well, we need to give something back.

It is garbage day today.  But Tonya took me for a walk yesterday afternoon.  She had to go to work last night for a few hours.  

The Big Guy insisted that I go in my kennel when they go out for a few hours.  I am still having accidents in the house.  

Yesterday, I was outside for a LONG time.  I came inside and had a poo inside the house.  Tonya was not happy.  She was really getting on and on.  But I didn't have to poo when I was outside.

I will be getting a visit by my non-furry Memere tomorrow.  She is also bringing a friend that lives in the same building as her.  Memere said that she likes dogs, so we should get a long OK.

Bye bye for now.

29/Sep/16 who's that knocking at my door

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So yesterday we are all quiet and just watching TV, when this new noise happened.  "DING DONG".  

What is that?  I don't know, but it made Tonya get up.  So I got up.

She moved as quick as she could towards the door.  I got excited as this is all new to me and ran after her.

She was upset as I was running around.  

It happened again... "DING DONG" What was that?  What was that?  What was that?  

Scrambling all fighter jets (that's me).  We are at DEFCON 3

She goes towards the front door.  Then she does something incredibly stupid.  She pushes me away and closes the inner door.  (We have a front mud room on this house with inner and outer doors)

I am panicked!  I can't see what's going on.

I run to the living room and LEAP onto the love seat so that I can see outside.  Damn!  I can't get a clear shot.  

I can hear Tonya talking with someone.  I better run to the front door again.  SHIT!  She still has that door shut.  I better bark to let her know I am there to protect her.  

OMG!  General, we better go to DEFCON 1

I better bark A LOT!  Loud as I possibly can!  That and jump on the door!

What's the Big Guy doing during this foray?  Just sitting on the couch.  Doesn't he realize that my non-furry mother could be in DANGER?  I better run around a bit.  Zoom into the kitchen.  Argh...  nothing can help me in here.  I better run back to the living room.

I can't get traction on the hard wood floor.  But I know that the Big Guy is impressed as I am going all out and know that I am going to hit the fireplace, but I expand my paws to their extreme size and turn my body.  I know that I am still going backwards, but I put'er in 4 paw drive and stomp on the gas.  One of my back paws hits one of my bones I've been chewing on.  It goes flying towards the dinning room.

I put on the brakes and head towards the mud room door.  

If only I were stronger, I would bust the door down and save her.

I better bark some more.  Barks as loud as possible.  Oh yes, and jump on the door.  Almost forgot to jump on the door.

Wait!  What just happened?  I better stop barking and turn my ultra sensitive hearing towards the door.  I've heard that word before.  Tonya just said "Bye" to someone.  Is she putting them in the kennel?  I better check.

I run to the kennel.  Nope, everything is safe there.

Back to the door.  OMG!  It's opening!

I squeeze past her and lets see what's happening in the mud room.

What the hell is going on?  No one is there!  Is this some kind of cruel joke?

Stand by, my ultra sensitive hearing tells me that someone is going down the stairs.  I better scramble towards the window.

I run to the window and see someone walking away.

That right...  you better just walk away...  this house is being protected by Max.

OK, General, we can step it back down to DEFCON 5.

Shake it off.  Oh so much adrenaline going through my body.  Better do those little whimpers to let them know, I had their backs.  

STAND BY!  What's that in Tonya's hand?  SWEET JESUS!  It's a flyer.  KILL THE PAPER!  

Target acquired... prepare to engage...  go to afterburner...

ABORT ABORT ABORT

The Big Guy has just intervened and is moving to intercept.

Deploy the air brakes, lower the landing gear, the stick is hard over, preparing for a 9 G turn.  SHIT SHIT SHIT, we're going to impact the Big Guy.  

Thank God; the Big Guy extended his hands to soften the crash.

Elapsed time, less than 3 minutes.

Bye bye for now.

28/Sep/16 Dancing in the dark

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Not a very good picture of me today.  Here I am in the back yard, in the dark.

The Big Guy was looking on the internet and he found another doggie like me.  The owner was asking if all Bernese Mountain Dogs jump a lot.  I know this guy was.  He wasn't jumping on the door or anyone else, just jumping up and down as his owner was near the door.

Tonya says that I am hard to walk cause I am cooped up all day long, I have so much energy to burn off.  So I want to run and run and run.  But have you seen the Big Guy, all his running days are behind him.  His knee gets sore during our walks.

The Big Guy had reached out to this group that he belongs to, to see if anyone has a cart for sale.  He wonders if me pulling a cart would calm me down on my walks.  So far, I sniff this, run to the end of my leash, sniff there, run to the end of my leash, sniff over that new smell over there.

The Big Guy doesn't have his normal cup of coffee today.  He knows they ran out of the stuff that he makes each morning.  But he does have a Kerurig machine to make a single cup of coffee.  But it's flavoured coffee and he isn't too keen on that.

Watch Tonya come downstairs, move something and it's RIGHT there.  Tonya says that the Big Guy has an eye that doesn't work and it's located on his nose.  At least I think that's what she said, cause she said that he looks with his nose.

Someone was talking about Pavlov's Dog.

I told them, it rings a bell.

Ba Dum Tiss!

No, nothing?  Oh well, not every pun can be good.

Bye bye for now

29/Sep/16 it's early morning and a plastic pig snorts

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So the Big Guy is always up early.  I can hear him wandering around in the dark, upstairs.  He gets a glass of water and takes his morning pills.  He farts as he has his morning pee.  I can hear the lid close as they don't want me drinking from the toilet.  He is about to come downstairs.  I better freak him out and gently chew on my plastic pig.

"Snort" goes the plastic pig.

He stops on the stairs.  Not sure of what he heard.

He starts his decent again.  I better chew again, gently...

"Snort" goes the plastic pig.

He stopped again.  I can hear him breathing.

I can't help myself.  I CHEW DOWN HARD!  "SQUEAL, SQUEAL, SQUEAL" goes the plastic pig!

The Big Guy is a bit embarrassed that he was thinking of the Amitiville Horror movie, where there was a pig that squealed in the window.

A big part of my day is when the Big Guy and Tonya comes home.  I get so excited.  Yesterday I was trying to get to Tonya, but each time I tried to get to her, the Big Guy would block me.  He was laughing and laughing.  Well I got him back this morning.

I don't know if the Big Guy got the last laugh or not.  He put me outside.  Right now, it's only +8.  I don't mind though.  My fur coat keeps me so nice and warm.

Bye bye for now.

26/Sep/16 can't a dog get any sleep?

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

The Big Guy just HAS to get a photo of me each and every day.  He woke me up.  Well his moving around woke me up, taking the photo only BLINDED me.

Floyd, Mylynne and Colby came by.  They had their ribs while I had kibble.  Floyd said that it was the BEST ribs he has ever had.  If only he knew how much onion powder was on them and in the sauce too.  Floyd wanted the Big Guy to make his Jack Daniels BBQ sauce, but he made Crown Royal BBQ sauce instead.  Floyd said it was even better!

So guess what the Big Guy is having for lunch today.  So if people are smelling his lunch, you know what he is having.

I love dog whistles.

But you've probably never heard them.

Ba Dum Tiss!

You humans...  no sense of ha ha

My non-furry Uncle Terry come by yesterday.  He took the cover off the dryer vent.  They needed a cover so that the birds don't go in the dryer vent.  So Tonya is needing to get a new dryer vent that prevents the starlings (birds that nest on the side of hills) from getting in the dryer vent.  

The Big Guy weighs too much to go up the ladder.  He is afraid that it would bend and he would fall down.  Ladders can only support so much weight.

So it's getting cold out during the night.  I know this is going to upset a lot of people, but I really can't wait to see snow for the first time.

Bye bye for now.

Sun 26/Sep/16 left my doggles on for almost a minute

Sun 26/Sep/16 left my doggles on for almost a minute

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

You can see my eyes are shinning through my Doggles.  I left them on my eyes for almost a minute.  Well, probably about 30 seconds.  Ummm...  OK, about 10 seconds...  more like 5, then I really wanted them off.

The Big Guy said that I have to wear them to protect my eyes.  I think it's going to be a battle of wills.

Yesterday I got to meet Margaret Ann and Greg.  She was so scared of me.  Because she was yelling and squealing, I was VERY excited.  I was jumping up on her and trying to lick her.  Greg was laughing, so I didn't jump on him at all.

They had pizza, I had kibble.  Oh what I wouldn't do to have pizza.

Today, Floyd, Mylynne and Colby are coming by.  At least I think Colby is going to come by.  Sometimes he goes with his father.  But the Big Guy is going to be making his ribs.  Floyd insisted that he makes his own BBQ sauce.  Floyd wanted Jack Daniels BBQ sauce, but the Big Guy only has Crown Royal.  So the BBQ sauce may be a little different today.  But it takes about 6 hours to make ribs.  At least it does when the Big Guy cooks them.

Margaret Ann didn't like my piggy.  It was full of drools.  She did NOT want to share.

After a bit, I calmed down and she patted me a lot.  In the end, she said that she loved me.  So it's all good.

Greg couldn't get over the fact that I got big paws.

The Big Guy is going to be having cold pizza for breakfast.  I will have my kibble.  Will he take pity on me and give me the pizza crust?  I bet he will not.

Bye bye for now.

24/Sep/16 got my Doggles today

24/Sep/16 got my Doggles today

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So as you can see, Doggles will fit humans.  The Big Guy was wondering about them come this winter when he is out snow blowing the yard.

Tonya was so excited for me to get my Dog Goggles, but I really didn't want to keep them on my head.  The Big Guy is hoping that i can get it together and keep them on my face.  He doesn't like it when I want my face hanging out side the car when we are driving.  But with the doggles on, he figures it will not be quite so bad.

It was a bit of a boring day yesterday.  Although I did have some fun with the sandwich bag box.

Tonya left the box where I could get it.  I destroyed the box and there was about 20 sandwich bags that I completely ignored.  But still, when I was destroying the box, the sandwich bags where going EVERY WHERE!  Thank you Mr Fan.  It blew the sandwich bags around.  So I thought it was another game.  Chase and catch the sandwich bags.

Tonya said that i will likely have some plastic in my poop.

Tonya has invited friends over for supper. They are going to have Cast Iron Skillet Pizza.  I will get to have kibble.

OK, without further ado, here is the video.

Did you like the video?  Could you click on the YouTube icon and give it a "Thumbs Up"?  The Big Guy would be super happy if you did.

Bye bye for now.

23/Sep/16 I want my face rubbed

23/Sep/16 I want my face rubbed

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

I really like to be patted and you HAVE to pay attention to me.  What is this keyboard thing you are playing with.  Facebook time?  No...  Max time.

I am just shy of the weight of my furry mother.  She weighed 90 pounds.  I am just over 70.  The Big Guy figures about 75 by now.  Then only way to tell now, is to take me to the Vet where they make me sit on the scale.

It was garbage day.  What am I saying, it IS garbage day today.  But last night, there is always people who put their garbage out the night before.  The Big Guy is pretty happy that I don't sniff the garbage as much as I used to.  Before, that was ALWAYS such a big thing for me.

Today, the Big Guy has to put out the green bin.  They put some meat garbage in to the green bin.  Now they got maggots crawling over the green bin.  The birds like them.  So it's a vicious cycle.  But the green bin also stinks.  So time to get it emptied.

Did you hear about the mother dog that gave birth to her puppies on the side of the road?

She was ticketed for littering.

Ba Dum Tiss!

Oh come on, it was funny.

I got to see Floyd last night.  He had to come here to get his hair cut.  He is going for job training.  Not sure how long that is going to last.  I think it's 8 weeks.  Perhaps less.  Got my paws crossed that he can get a job when it's all done.

Bye bye for now

22/Sep/16 it is Fall today

22/Sep/16 it is Fall today

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

I got to meet a new doggie today.  He had a haltie on.  Darlene said that this made her dog so much easier to walk.  We didn't fight.  We only sniffed each other.

Then he did something weird.  He lifted his back leg to have a pee.  So far, I only squat to pee.

Floyd, Mylynne and Colby came over for a visit.  Colby ran though the house and I jumped up on him.  I almost knocked him down.  I can run a lot faster than he can.

Floyd got after Tonya for not giving me water.  So he went inside and filled up a water dish.  I took two licks and then played with the bowl.  So much for that drink of water.

I do that a lot though.  You would think that I would learn.  They bring me a water dish and I turn it over so that I can play with the bowl.  The Big Guy wants to get me a different bowl.  One that doesn't over turn easily.

Tonya ordered me two pair of Doggles yesterday.  This will protect my eyes when I am looking out the window.  Even though they put me in my harness, I can still stick my head out the window.  Tonya doesn't want me getting my eyes hurt.  She is really nice thinking about me like that.

When I was out for my walks yesterday, I got to meet a couple guys over by the insurance place.  One of them never seen a Bernese Mountain Dog before.  He was surprised at how big I was and that I wasn't even 6 months old yet.

They were all impressed at how shiney my coat is.

Bye bye for now.

21/Sep/16 tomorrow, first day of fall

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So we are getting about 12 hours of day light and 12 hours of sunlight.  But as you can see by the background of the picture, it's dark out.  The line that is on the steps...  that is condensation coming off the metal roof and falling on the stairs.

My legs are getting longer.  I can reach up to the counter now.  Tonya doesn't appreciate my efforts when I am trying to see what she is doing at the counter.  I only want to know, is what she is making for me?

Also, what's with this coffee they drink.  I hit one of their cups with my nose.  It's HOT!

Do you know what's more amazing than a talking dog?

A spelling bee.

Ba Dum Tiss!  

Funny eh!  Did you know that the internet if full of this stuff?

The Big Guy has to move the center barrier in my kennel so that I have more room.  I am hoping he does that before he goes to work today.

Tonya ordered me some Doggles last night.  Those are doggie goggles.  That way, if I look outside the car when it's moving, my eyes will be protected.  Also, I wonder if they work good in a blizzard?

Bye bye for now

20/Sep/16 trying to sleep

20/Sep/16 trying to sleep

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Can you see me, way in the background of this picture.  Leave me alone, I want to sleep.  It isn't picture time.

With the weather being bad, I don't go out side as much as I would like.  But when the snow flies, my winter coat should be in and I will not be overly effected by the cold.  Guess we are going to see what this winter 2016/2017 is all about.  The Farmers Almanac is predicting a hard winter for us.  At least in terms of snow.

If we still lived in the Prairies, their snow is dry.  Doesn't take much to snow blow their snow. Snow in the Maritimes is wet and heavy.  Takes a lot to snow blow.  The Big Guy still needs a pair of chaps for his upper legs.  Nothing worst than getting cold legs.  Well, I guess that isn't really true, but he doesn't have a fur coat like I do.

I tried to catch the fog yesterday.

Mist.

Ba Dum Tiss...

That's funny eh?  Well I thought it was funny.

Tonya was cutting up salad the other day.  I was able to get my mussel right up to the counter.  I was sniffing the air as she was cutting up stuff that I thought was for me.  But she didn't share.  She even put an apple in her salad.  I thought apples were for me.

Bye bye for now.

19/Sep/16 my flying legs are completed

19/Sep/16 my flying legs are completed

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So as you can see, Jason has my flying legs are ready.

The Big Guy was working on some footage of me jumping over his camera.  Now he just needs a few shots of me jumping up and then jumping down off something.  Very likely jumping in and out of the car.  The angle will be right.

The Big Guy was worried that the drone wouldn't be able to lift the legs and still fly correctly.  But Jason said, his drone can lift 450 grams.  That's about a pound of weight.  Color me impressed.

So out of everyone that was supposed to come by yesterday, there was only one that didn't.  Terry went golfing.  I guess it would be like fishing for the Big Guy.  If I were there, I would only chase after the golf balls.  Good thing I wasn't invited.

Tonya made a boiled ham and stuff.  I didn't get any of that.  I got my kibbles, again.  There was even left overs and I didn't get any of that either.  There was a salad, with stuff that I like, but did I get any of that?  Nope, just kibbles.  The Big Guy doesn't want me to get the poops from eating human food.  Not all of it is good for me.  

But I did get some frozen mango.  So it wasn't all bad.

I got to chew on my hock a lot.  I napped too.  Napping is important.  So I napped a lot too.

Bye bye for now.

Sun 18/Sep/16 those summer nights are gone soon

Sun 18/Sep/16 those summer nights are gone soon

Here I am eating my frozen mango

Yum yum ymm

Just chillin

Tired from playing

Looks how tall I am now

I can come to you for pats

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

As you can see by the last picture, there was a nice sunset last night.

The Big Guy and Tonya had me in the back yard last night, playing and having fun.  He needs some "pre-flight" videos for Jason.

After getting the videos at the back of the house, the Big Guy took a video of me playing with what is left of the hostas.  Since I had pretty much flatten them already, he mowed what was left.  I got to play in the dirt and chew on some leaves that he didn't get.

Did you see how tall I am getting?  Tonya is sitting down and I can reach right up.

I am still chewing on the bone that they bought me.  There is lots of chewing on that bone, I can tell you.

Last night, Tonya and the Big Guy watched the hockey game.  Of course Canada won.  They don't watch a lot of sports, but they really seemed to enjoy watching these   There is going to be more hockey games, right up to the 1st of October.

We are going to have guests over today.  Terry, Has, Craig and Elaine.  They are going to have a ham dinner while I have my kibble.

Bye bye for now.

17/Sep/16 having my new Ham Hock

17/Sep/16 having my new Ham Hock

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Can you see in my photos...  how shiny my coat is?  It's almost like they polish my fur.  But I know it's because Tonya and the Big Guy feed me good food.  Last night, I had a frozen treat with Mangos in it.  That was new.  Tonya made sure I could have them.  She looked it up and then froze them in chicken broth.  Yummy.

Yesterday Tonya took me to the Vet.  I weigh 69.5 pounds.  The Big Guy said he is going to round that up to 70 pounds.  I very likely put on 0.5 pounds last night after having supper.

To think, 3 months ago, I weighed 25 pounds and Tonya was holding me in her arms like a baby.

I don't think that I am going to be a small dog when I am all grown up.

Yesterday at the Vet, there was a Pit Bull.  She was 11 months old and she weighed 50 pounds.  I am about 3 inches taller than her.  That's about 7.5 cm for some folks.  Tonya didn't want us to fight, so she took me out to the car.  They also gave her this nifty carry bag with poopie bags.  So you carry this with you when you go for a walk.  I poop, you use the poopie bag to clean up and then you store the poopie bag in this carry pack.  You get home and then empty the carry pack.  Tonya said it would be so much better than carrying the poopie bag.  Pretty sure the Big Guy will pick up my poop, but not so much walk around with this poopie bag carrier.  Just something else to lug around.

I heard the Bug Guy saying he will be out mowing the lawn today.  He doesn't mind that so much.  It's the extra clean up part that he doesn't like so much.

So for me, probably lots of laying around on the deck while he does yard work and gets a really sore knee.

Bye bye for now.