31/Dec/16 New Year's eve

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So it's the last day of 2016.  I have been seeing that a lot of people are saying that this year has been the worst.  So far, I can't see that being true.  I mean there are a lot of people that have passed on, but that is life and death.  We can't stop that.

Otherwise, I can't see what exactly was so bad about the year 2016.

I got to chew on the Big Guy's TV remote yesterday.  Tonya went to get him from work and when he came home, he noticed that there was a battery on the floor of the living room.

Yep, I got the remote again.

Max 2, TV Remote 0.

Don't worry, they put it up where I can't get it...  for now...  but I am determined that I am going to crush that remote.

Tonya put some tape over the back of the remote to hold the batteries in place.  The battery door is no longer able to be used.  So that had to be thrown out.

Yesterday Tonya had to throw out one of her sweaters.  I got that and chewed that up.  It was kinda like one of her favorite sweaters too.

Not to worry, I am determined to get another sweater soon.  She keeps laying them around instead of putting them away.

The Big Guy screwed up.  He forgot to get coffee and now guess who doesn't have any coffee this morning.  He would normally make instant coffee, but he doesn't have any of that either.  He does have coffee beans, but they are infused with hazelnuts.  He would rather eat dirt first.  He is weird.

I wonder if he will go to Tim Horton's for coffee.  Normally he wouldn't.  Not that he doesn't like Tim Horton's coffee, but he feels for the price of their coffee, he could make 3 pots of coffee.

Well, I must go see what I can get into.

Bye bye for now.

30/Dec/16 on the couch again, I am the Sofa King

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

2nd day of the Big Guy finding me on the couch.  I am not sure that he is impressed by my actions.  But he didn't scold me or anything like that.  

I will wait for him to lay down for his nap and I will bug him and want to play.  I am sure that he expects this of me.

Did you ever hear about the Sofa King?  If you don't mind the language, click HERE to listen to the Sofa King commercial.

Big Wind is coming to Cape Breton today.  That and a lot of rain.  Because the ground is frozen, the rain isn't going to have any place to seep into the ground.  So it is going to cause a lot of flooding.  Some glad that we live on top of a hill so that all the rain runs downhill from here.

If this storm fell as snow, we would be getting over 20 cm of snow.  So the Big Guy is pretty happy that he doesn't have to get out his snow blower to take care of this.

I got to spend the entire day at home with Tonya.  She was surprised that when she went for a nap, I stayed downstairs by the back door.  But there is no insulation on the floor at the back door and it is so nice and cold on my fur.

Bye bye for now.

29/Dec/16 got my own YouTube channel

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

This morning, well, actually, yesterday, the Big Guy created my own gmail account.  Imagine that, I can get email now.  He also created my new YouTube channel.  He is moving the videos to that channel now.  It is a slow process.  He is sure that there has to be a better way, but he has tried and so far, this tedious process is the only one that guarantees that it works.

It's a work in progress, but if you wanted to see the new channel as it grows, click on this link HERE.

Oh yea, did you see today's picture?  The Big Guy came downstairs and made his coffee and didn't see me.  So he got his camera and walked around the house.  Then he spotted me and took this INCRIMINATING photo of me using the couch vice being on the floor.

The Big Guy has heard that us Bernese Mountain Dogs are bad for not really listening.  This proves it.

Seen the weather forecast.  Looks like we are going to be getting some rain.  Since the ground is frozen, it is going to be a mess for sure.

Well, I gotta go, the Big Guy is trying to move those videos and they ain't doing that by themselves.

Bye bye for now.

28/Dec/16 it's been 10 years today

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Tonya was telling the Big Guy that 10 years ago, their furniture was delivered to this forever home that I am living in.  There has been some big changes to this house and they are not done yet.  They still want to get windows and siding.  At this rate, they will never be able to move out.

So it snowed yesterday.  Not a lot, but following the snow, then it rained.  I was looking at the forecast and it's going to be raining for a LONG time too.  This is unusual as normally this month it gets colder out.

I know that the Big Guy wouldn't be upset if it never snow again.  EVER.

But the Big Guy does remember living in Moose Jaw and he had a motor bike.  There was one year, he couldn't drive it for 1 week cause of the snow.  But otherwise, he didn't have to put it away that year.  Yes, he had to dress warm, but otherwise, he drove it for a very long time.  Then he sold it to a guy that wanted to use it on a farm.

He thought he was a biker back then.  I don't think he was.

Look at the picture again.  Do you see his 2nd car that he owned?  It was an '82 Plymouth Reliant.  Back then, this was called a K-Car.  It was a 2.2 liter, 4 cylinder engine putting out about 74 horsepower.  Not like his current car.

Well, the Big Guy is bugging to use the computer so that he can do his Food Blog.

Bye bye for now.

27/Dec/16 HELP! My lead is caught in the stair.

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Although you can't see it, my lead is caught in the bottom step and I can't get inside the house.  The Big Guy had to reach down, and with what I can only describe as his inhuman strength, he was able to pull on the lead which then allowed me access to the house.  Phew.  I thought I was a gonner there.

So yesterday the Big Guy made some ribs.  Do you know how good they smelled to me?  He gave me steak before, but do you think he would give me ribs?  Nope.  Not even the soft bones that were left over.

He fed them to his in-laws.

But then, to make matter worst, he even made a Crown Royal BBQ sauce for the ribs.  He even has some left over in the fridge.  Do you think he would spread that over my kibble for me to have a Christmas Treat?  Nope.  He is being mean.

I head that the Big Guy is going to be making a new YouTube channel and moving all my videos on to that channel.  That will make is so much easier for people to find me.

Bye bye for now.

26/Dec/16 Boxing Day, or is it Wrestling Day?

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

I had some visitors over last night.  My non-furry brother Floyd came by with his fiance Mylynne and Colby.

Colby got to open his Christmas presents while Mylynne really didn't want her picture taken.

I had a lot of fun with Floyd on the couch.

I don't think he realized just how heavy I was.

You should see my new Christmas Gift...

The Big Guy puts treats in the open spots and I have to dig them out.  Also it's chewy so it keeps me entertained.  Also, no squeaker so Tonya isn't asking the Big Guy to turn up the TV.  The Big Guy really likes it because it doesn't roll around for me to loose under the furniture.

If you would like to get one for your doggie, they are available at WalMart.  Click HERE for more information.

Bye bye for now

25/Dec/16 Merry Christmas

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

I didn't take notice but I posted blog # 200 on December 23rd.

Did you see the Big Guy's Moose Milk blog?  It has over 21000 views.  Talk about knowing your audience.

Odin's non-furry grandmother came for a visit.  She gave me a BIG bags of dog treats.  WOW!  I was able to open them early cause I have a nose that can smell stuff and I was able to smell the treats right through the bag and everything.

She gave Tonya this really nice poem that Tonya really loved.  Geoff gave us a bottle of cherry wine.  This guy is going all out with his wine.

Tonya opening the card.  I don't read so it didn't bother me that she got the card.

There was a poem in the car.  Again, I didn't read it.

But I could smell the treats

A BIG bag of treats

OK, you opened it but you have to get one out of the bag for me

nom nom nom

chew chew chew

Thank you got getting me a treat

So there will be THOUSANDS of little boys and girls that will be getting up soon and opening their gifts.  

I heard that my non-furry brother Floyd got some coal and a chicken foot one year.  He was being bad and his Poppy Clarke was upset.  So he took all of his gifts away and hid them.  Floyd cried and cried.  He eventually got his gifts in the afternoon.

Bye bye for now.

24/Dec/16 Christmas Eve, and I am being naughty

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

Yesterday the Big Guy didn't have to go to work.  So no kennel time for me at all.  But at one point, he noticed that I was quiet and didn't see me laying at the back door.  He found me on the couch.  Admiring the Christmas Tree.

Last night, Tonya spent a lot of time wrapping gifts while the Big Guy just watched TV with a couple drinks.  I think he's kinda lazy.

Oh and yes, he did make the onion bombs.  Tonya said that they were delicious and that he can make them again.

The Big Guy agreed, but said that next time, they have to figure out a way to keep the onion bombs elevated so that they don't just sit in their own grease.

Of course the Big Guy made them in his Cast Iron Skillet.  He really likes his cast iron.

Here is some pictures of me playing with the empty wrapping paper tube.

The Big Guy got after Tonya for letting me play with the tube.  He said, OK, your letting him play with that now, but what happens the next time, when it made of cardboard and he doesn't know the difference.

She said that the Big Guy was a big poop and no fun at all.

So she picked up the tube and put it in the garbage.

But then she scratched my belly, so it was all good.

Bye bye for now

23/Dec/16 don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So I am a bit late posting my blog today.  The Big Guy slept in and I am not allowed to use his computer without his permission.

Then he had to put the garbage out.

Plus his gout is acting up, so he is limping.

Then he had to get stuff out of the freezer so that he can make these onion bombs today.

It may not seem like much when you list it out like this, but all in all, he is huffing and puffing, sitting down in his chair.

Once you sleep in, it's like your whole day is thrown off.

The Big Guy is off now for the next couple of days.  He seems pretty happy about that.  He is going to go get his Christmas Shopping done today.  Tonya of course, has already been out there getting a lot of stuff done already.  The Big Guy only has to worry about her and no one else.  She has to worry about everyone in the family.

Did you see the Big Guy's Moose Milk post?  It is coming on 10,000 views.  He is really happy about that.  Statistics seems to be his "thing".  He wonders if he had made a video of it, would he be getting a lot of hits there.  Shhhh...  don't say anything, as it may give him ideas...  I only want him to post videos of me.

Bye bye for now.

22/Dec/16 longest night of the year is now behind us

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So the days are going to start getting longer.  That is except for my friend Jeanette who lives in Australia.  Her days are going to start getting shorter.

So yesterday I surprised the Big Guy.  He was sitting on the love seat watching TV.  I crawled up on the open seat next to him.  He thought that I was going to start biting and perhaps playing, but I was tired.  So I curled up and laid my head on his leg and went to sleep.  He rested his arm across my back.  I think that he liked that a lot.  I also think that Tonya was a wee bit jealous as I still only want to play when I jump on on the chair with her.

The other night, they had a Donair Plate for supper.  Tonya said that it was way too expensive for what they had.  But it brought back memories for the Big Guy of when he was posted to CFB Shearwater.  So it was all good.  But the next Donair Plate that they have, you can bet the Big Guy will be making his own.  It will be WAY cheaper.

Tonya says that she wishes that our kids and the grand children would all be here for Christmas.  That would be a house full for sure.  Not sure where everyone would sleep, but I am sure we would figure it out.

The Big Guy would be doing a lot of cooking.  So I am pretty sure he would be happy too.

They keep saying "if only we could win the lotto" and then they look up, as if the winnings are there.

Humans are weird.

Bye bye for now.

21/Dec/16 1st day of Winter 2016

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

So last night, I made a new friend.  His name is Kylo.  He lives with Shaun and Krystal.  Last night Shaun came over to my house and asked if he was allowed to take me for a walk.

Well did we ever go for a walk.  YIPPEE!  I was so excited to go for a walk with a new friend.

When Kylo came to the door, I was like BARK BARK BARK

(Translation = HELLO MY NAME IS MAX AND I NEED TO SNIFF YOUR BUM)

I was jumping in the air as the Big Guy was holding my collar.  I tried to put it into 4 x 4 paw drive, but I was on the hard wood floor and couldn't get any purchase.

So at one point Shaun left Kylo off his leash and I started running after him.  I wanted to show him my house.  I have a water dish over there.  This is my kennel.  The living room furniture is in that room.  I peed on the floor over there.  I pooped over there.  There is food in that jar, where I eat is over there.  I really need to sniff your bum.  But of course I was excited and I was mixing up my words.  What sounded like BARK BARK BARK, must have scared Kylo.

(Translation = WATER IN MY KENNEL, PEED FURNITURE, POOP FROM FOOD, GOING TO EAT YOUR BUM)

Kylo ran to Shaun and tried to hide under the lawn chair that is in the front entrance to the house.

He tried to curl into a small ball and tucked his tail under himself, but I was determined, I was going to sniff his bum.

The Big Guy put on my harness and we all went outside for a walk.

The Big Guy and Tonya stayed home to decorate their tree.  Shaun asked if I knew any commands.  The Big Guy told him, no.  I will do a few things, but not consistently.  Here is a few that Tonya has taught me.

DON'T JUMP = nip on the boobs, her's not the Big Guy

GET DOWN = scratch across the arms with my front paws

DOWN = bite the parts that are under the blanket

STOP = time to bark, really loud and often

OUTSIDE = time to sniff a bum while walking towards the door

SIT = exaggerated movements in any direction

GO FOR A DRIVE = me trying to get my learner's permit from the center console of the car

HARNESS = time to bite and nip the hand that feeds you

DO YOU WANT A TIME OUT IN YOUR KENNEL = too many words for me to comprehend, so I better do an interpretative dance with loud barks

Shaun did say that I was a good boy and that he looks forward to walking me again.

Bye bye for now.

20/Dec/16 come ravish me now ladies

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

The Big Guy went and got his camera and took my shot while I was laying upside down on the floor.

So it's cold outside right now.  But not as cold out as other parts of Canada.  But I have a nice fur coat on.  But I know there are other doggies that are left outside all the time.  Some don't even have a home.  That is so sad.

So when I see Tonya and the Big Guy, I am so HAPPY!  I just want to show them how much I love them.  My front paws aren't so good for hugging like human arms.  They go right around me.  I don't know how to kiss that well either.  But I do know how to jump up and down, how to paw at them and how to nip.  I can lean against them.  That always makes them fall down, or at least move over.

Although I did say that the weather is bad now.  It is going to be raining straight through till Christmas.  Then some snow on Boxing day.  The weather is weird.

It seems like forever since the Big Guy has made a video of me.  What's wrong with him?  My audience needs to see how big I am getting.

Bye bye for now.

19/Dec/16 I get into stuff

Good morning Cape Breton.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home.

I am not sure what evidence that I've left on my nose this time.  The Big Guy hasn't gone around looking just yet.

I was outside earlier this morning and most of the snow is melted.  Now we are going to have a layer of tough crusty snow under any snow that does fall.  That is pretty much the recipe for an avalanche.  But then again, there really isn't a lot of steep hills around here for that to happen.  So the Big Guy isn't too worried about that.

They have been putting stuff up in the fake tree that they have in their living room.  So far, so good.  I haven't got into any of the decorations just yet.  Someone did give them a warning about my tail.  It does swish around a lot.

The Big Guy has this weird power bar that turns itself off after a few hours.  Well it finally gave up the ghost yesterday.  Now it works like a regular power bar once again.  Tonya HATED that power bar.  You would be in the middle of watching something and the TV would turn off.  Now she doesn't have to worry about that any longer.

They had chicken for supper last night and I am not allowed to eat the chicken bones.  BUT they smell so great.  Can't I have just one?

Bye bye for now.