30/Nov/20 engage swiffer mode

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

I've been known to dump a lot of fur on the floor of the house.

We had some visitors drop by and by the time they were done, it looked like this guy had a set of furry slippers on the bottom of his socks.

For this reason, the Big Guy always wears his slippers.  Not so much of my fur collects on the bottom of the slippers.

So the Big Guy and Tonya have moved their computers upstairs, into the same room where the Big Guy works from.

Tonya didn't want the computers downstairs any longer.  So...  up they went.

The Big Guy said that it was a big job.  All's I know, they were going upstairs and downstairs.  Over and over and over.

So now, all the gear is upstairs.  The Big Guy said, it better stay up there for a LONG time.

If there is a good thing about this...  the Big Guy can watch the sun come up in the morning.  He much prefers sun rise to sun set.

Most people are sleeping during sun rise.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog is nervous while the pool fills

Bye bye fur now

29/Nov/20 battery 50% charge

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Yesterday was a bit of an exciting day for me.  There was lots of movement.  Upstairs and downstairs.  The Big Guy and Tonya were moving their home computers upstairs into the back bedroom that is up there.

So far, the Big Guy has most of his computer set up.  But there is this Wifi stick that he has.  He has put it some place "safe" and now he can't find it.

I get he will go downstairs and he will find it right away.

This is what we call, piss poor planning.

And let me tell you...  he's got some junk that he has to purge.

Well that computer has been where it's at, for close to 10 years or so.  So there is 10 years worth of crap that he has put here and there.  Now that he's moved the computer, he can see all the junk.  So most of it, has to go.

Would some of it still be useful?  Probably.  But he's not going to worry about it.  At least not for now.  He says that's a job for another day.

The only problem he has being upstairs....

No coffee...

Poor baby...

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog and his Pita Bread

Bye bye fur now

28/Nov/20 I gotta share this couch with my little toy

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

So, what's up with the Big Guy today?  He slept in.  This is not something that he would normally do.  By now, he would have been up for about 4 hours.  He would have made breakfast and even got a nap in by now.

Not this morning.

They were telling me, they got a "game plan".

It is to bring down the Christmas decorations and start putting stuff up and, putting other stuff away.

Then, in about a month of so, put that stuff away in the attic and take out the other stuff.

But the Christmas decorations looks so nice when it's all in place.

The Big Guy's brother, he does this Christmas Village on his dining room table.  But it's all made out of Lego.  

This year, he had to put an extension on the table.

Yup, it's going to look nice when it's all done.  

Last year, he had to give it a miss as he was in Egypt.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog barks at other dogs

Bye bye fur now

27/Nov/20 I was doing a horizontal deckhead survey till you woke me up

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Why is it, when the humans I live with, can't sleep, they come down stairs and turn on the TV?

This wakes me up.

It's fine that you can't sleep.  But why bug me?

I know that the Big Guy was caught off guard yesterday.  It has been 27 years since Tonya and himself got together.

He has been given some new sets of responsibility at work.  His mind has been churning in that direction and he certainly wasn't thinking about how long they were together.

Tonya even made him a surf and turf supper.

What did he do?  He was still thinking about work.  He didn't do his end of day report after work last night.

It was bugging him so much that he woke up early and got on the computer to finish that report.

Now that he is all done that.  What do you think he's going to do now?

Yup, watch TV.

I think I'm going to go lay down at the back door, where I can have some peace and quiet.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog being loved up by his momma

Bye bye fur now

26/Nov/20 guard duty is rough

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

So, I guard the house.

I raise the alarm when someone is at the door.

I keep an eye out for other dogs as they walk past my house.  I let them know that I live here by barking as loud as I possibly can.

When do I get promoted?

Am I not due for a raise some day?

Kibble, water and the odd treat hardly seems like payment for services rendered.

Perhaps I should be more like a cat.

They don't give a shit about anything.

Oh, you want to rob the place.  What ever.  Just empty the litter pan ya wanker.  Do they care if another cat walks by their house?  Nope.  Someone's at the door.  It's not for me.  Cats will NOT eat table scraps.

But then again, they do kill mice and rats.  So I suppose, since we don't want the black plague again, they can stick around.

For now

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog looks forward to Aurora dumping her food

Bye bye fur now

25/Nov/20 that cookie that your eating, can I have some

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

The weather is certainly different from yesterday.

Today, it's is cold outside, but there is hardly any wind.  The air is what you would call, "crisp".  Since the Big Guy isn't a big fan of the cold, he would call is something else.

Having said that, I'm sure glad that I've got the option to be an indoor dog.

I will bug Tonya and the Big Guy to put me outside.  But then, when I want back in, I only scratch at the door, and they let me back into the house again.

Some dogs, they are not given that option.

Those dogs, shouldn't be with that owner.

But that's not how it works.

There are other humans that will intervene though.  Then they call this place.  It's called the SPCA.  It's kinda like HR, but for dogs and cats.

I go to the SPCA each year.  Tonya and the Big Guy will drive me over to Sydney, where we get a new Dog Tag for me.  Then there is this staff that works there, and they loose their mind.  They all want to touch me and pat me and generally, love me up.  Yea, good times.  Too bad I can't go there a little more often.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog is waiting for Baby Aurora to drop her food

Bye bye fur now

24/Nov/20 why does it rain cats and dogs

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Did you ever wonder where the statement, "It's raining Cats and Dogs" come from?

Google is a wonderful place to get info.

“Cats and dogs” may come from the Greek expression cata doxa, which means “contrary to experience or belief.” If it is raining cats and dogs, it is raining unusually or unbelievably hard. “Cats and dogs” may be a perversion of the now obsolete word catadupe. In old English, catadupe meant a cataract or waterfall.

So, now you know...

Why do I bring this up?

The Big Guy got up a little earlier than normal today.  He made motion towards the back door, as if I wanted to go "outside".

Well, "outside" it was pissing down rain.  

Yea, we're not going to research where that saying comes from.

Needless to say, I went and found some other place to lay down.  Away from the Big Guy and his big ideas about going "outside".  I will go when there is a break in the rain storm.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog excited about going for a walk

Bye bye fur now

23/Nov/20 you eat, and I stare at every bite you take

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

So, as you can see by this picture, Tonya has a sandwich in her hand.

I've adopted the reclined stare up position.

This position doesn't allow for the drool factor.

The better position is the standing stare with drool.

The standing position also allows you to "tuck in" so that you can get their lap really wet with drool.

What ever you do...  do NOT wag your tail.  Your supposed to look somber.  Make eye contact if you can.

Yesterday, Tonya was having a Montreal Smoked Meat with jalapeno mayo on a sesame seed bun.

She keep looking down at me saying that the jalapeno isn't good for me.

Now, the Big Guy also had the very same sandwich.  Staring at him just doesn't work.  He stares right back at me and it gives me the whillies.

Did my staring work?

OF COURSE IT DID!  Did I get like 1/2 the sandwich?  No, but I got some, which is better than none.

Stick with me kid, I've got other tricks about getting food from humans.  This other one uses putting my fur into everything they cook.  That's an old Berner trick.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog and his Big Red Ball

Bye bye fur now

22/Nov/20 I want my toy, but that means getting up

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Yesterday, the Big Guy and Tonya had some Wagyu Burgers on the grill.  They are rather expensive, but according to Tonya and the Big Guy, they are so worth it.

After they were cooked and they were both eating their burgers, you could see the juices running down the Big Guy's hand and his chin.

After the Big Guy was all done eating his burger, you could still see the juices on his hand and chin.  

He called me over.

He let me lick the juices off his hand.  Oh my, wasn't it devine...

Then, he grabbed my mussel in both his hands and...  then...

HE WIPED IS FACE OFF ON MY MUSSEL!

I was shocked.  Who does that?

I stood there, just looking at him.  Of course I licked the burger juices off my mussel.

But he just used me as a napkin.  😲

Friggin weirdo.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog has chewed up the yard

Bye bye fur now

21/Nov/20 today we're gonna have waffles

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

You would think that since we are going to be having waffles, that I would be a little more excited.  Well I am.  But I have to wait for Tonya to get up before I get any waffles.  Then I have to sit at her feet and stare at her.

It's what I do.

Kinda like a job.

You don't want to do it, but you have to.

For humans, the reward is money, and they can get suff.

I do my job and I get rewarded with food.

Honestly, I don't have a lot of needs.  Just some food, water and some exercise.

Tonya and the Big Guy both drink black coffee without milk or sugar.  I've tried it.  Geesh, it's bitter.  I'm not sure why they feel like they gotta have this in the morning.  It tastes like crap.

The Big Guy told me he got some plans for today.  Christmas decorations are going to be put up, outside today.  We will see what that means for the inside of the house.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog and the Bluenose II August 2016

Bye bye fur now

20/Nov/20 I'm dreaming of a White Christmas

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

I happened again last night.

What happened?

It snowed.

What's happening now?

It's raining.  

Now, will we get the deluge of rain that we got earlier on Monday?  I don't think so.  Last Monday was wild.  Heavy rains and winds.

Having said that, they are still talking about hurricanes and tropical storms and the like.  But this is late November.  What bizarre weather we are getting this year.

The thing that confuses the Big Guy... if Summer was so hot, why isn't Winter, a little milder?

Yup, that's what humans think about.  The weather.

Me, I think about those hot to trot doggies that walk past my yard.  Oh la la...  Look at you as you sashay past my house.  hubba hubba hubba

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog having his apple

Bye bye fur now

19/Nov/20 these big eyes are better to see you with

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

So it happened last night.  Or you could possibly say, early this morning.

It snowed.

Now, to offer clarity, this is the snow that the Big Guy likes.  It isn't thick.  It's just enough that spreading some salt on the steps will melt the snow and your done with it.  Traffic on the street will melt the snow, so that there is no ice at the intersections.  This snow will brush off the car, easily.

No one gets that upset with this snow.

How can they?  It makes things white.  It covers up dirt.  The snow is gently falling from the sky.  

Yup, it's lovely.

Talking of which...  The Big Guy...  he went missing most of the day yesterday.  He told me, he was going to work.

Ah, that's a lie.

Work is upstairs in the back room.  He left the house to go somewhere.  I was pretty upset that he was gone like that.  

He eventually came home again.  I had a good sniff.  OK, he smelled like he was at that place he used to go to before.

But for the record, I didn't approve of him being gone that long.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog get a new type of icy treat

Bye bye fur now

18/Nov/20 oh yawn bore

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Today, in our forecast, they are saying, it may snow.

The Big Guy is ready for the snow.  His snow blower is all gassed up and ready to go.

Now, we're not getting a huge amount of snow.  Just enough to say, "Hey look!  It's snowing!".  It's also supposed to be that wet heavy snow that everyone hates.  It's hard to move around.  Because, it's wet and heavy.

When the Big Guy lived out in the Prairies, Moose Jaw and Winnipeg, they didn't get wet snow.  They got light fluffy snow.  Really easy to shovel.  Easy on the snow blower too.

Wet snow, really sticks to my fur.  That means it melts thru and gets to my skin.

Ok, ok, I know, I normally like snow.  But the wet stuff.  Not really.  It's good enough for me to go outside and do my "business", but otherwise, I don't want to sit outside too long when it's wet snow.

But if it was the fluffy stuff.  Oh I'm outside for the long haul.

In six months from now, it will be April, so there shouldn't be any more snow by then.  That will make the Big Guy pretty happy.

He can see why people want to be "Snowbirds" in the Winter.  

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog playing with an empty plastic container on the deck

Bye bye fur now

17/Nov/20 the new cell phone takes really good low light pictures

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Do you see me in the picture above?  Did you know the light source, is across the living room and is only a 5 watt LED Bulb?

Normally a night light is only 3 watts.

Having said that, this could mean the end of the Big Guy chasing me around the house with his old camera and that EXTREMELY bright flash.

Soon enough, there is going to be these Christmas Decorations around the house.

Now, a Christmas Tree and a Bernese Mountain Dog tail, they don't mix very well.

First off, there is this coffee table that is in the living room.  There is NOTHING on it.  Well, dust, but according to the Big Guy, a house isn't a home, unless you can write "I love you" in the dust.  But I will also say, it's not THAT dusty.

The reason there is nothing on that coffee table?  My tail removes it.  Normally at high speed.

Same with a Christmas Tree.  I will stand, looking at the person that is admiring the tree.  This means that my tail, is swish swish swish, clearing the bottom branches of ornaments and lights.

It's not my fault that I was given such a high power tail.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog isn't too sure about the baby

Bye bye fur now

16/Nov/20 smile for the camera

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Yesterday the Big Guy did something that he does once a year.  The other time, he undoes what he did.  

What is that?  You ask...

Well he turns his lawn mower, into a snow blower.  Turning the snow blower into a lawn mower, takes a lot less time.

But the engine, it sounds like there is a hurt dog inside the engine.

I will certainly be glad when they can figure out how to make those machines to be all electric.

Mowing the lawn and snow blowing will be a lot quieter.

Talking of noise.  There was someone else that was racing their car through the streets yesterday.  You could hear them doing burn outs.  Like they were so cool.  

Now, you would think that destroying a good pair of tires, would be dumb.  The Big Guy certainly does love to go fast.  But not at the expense of his tires.  

Then again, the car was was doing the burn outs, perhaps they were at the end of the tire's life and they were just trying to have fun with what little tire was left on the car.  Either way, some day in the future, all the cars will be electric.  Can you still do burn outs?  I certainly do bet you will be able to.  But you will only hear the whine of an electric motor, and that's if you can hear it over the spinning tires.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog gets his new Cape Breton Tartan

Bye bye fur now

15/Nov/20 they are having a biggie breakfast

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Here I am, the protector of their domaine.

They are going to have a biggie breakfast today.

Sausage, bacon, bologna, hashbrowns, beans, eggs and toast.

Do you know what the Big Guy is going to feed me?

Kibble and water.

Yes, that is how you would expect him to treat me.

You just wait.  I know that Tonya is going to put more on her plate than what she can eat.  I'm going to stare like I've never stared before.  I'm going to drool so much, there will be a puddle at her feet.

I will show him who is going to get kibble and water.

Then again, I can't get too greedy with the stuff that I get off of Tonya's plate.  Otherwise I will get the trots.

But they work from home now, so I can go outside as often as I need to.

BRING ON THE FEAST!

Tomorrow, we will deal with what ever my bowels decide to do.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog attacks the Rose Bush Cage

Bye bye fur now

14/Nov/20 hanging out with you at work is boring

 

Good morning world.

Maximus Handsomius here from my forever home, in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Every so often, I will go upstairs and see what the Big Guy is up to.

So, what does he do while at work?  FUCK ALL is what he's doing.

He sits there, staring at these two computer screens...  

ALL.  

DAY.  

LONG.  

Yea, there is a mouse and a keyboard and a headset.  But lordy...  isn't there some kind of ACTION going on?

He told me, there is a chat and there is emails and there is other systems that got to be monitored.  If I had to stare at those computer screens all day long, I would doze off and take a nap.

I guess that's why they hire humans and not dogs.

Now, his other computer that he has down stairs.  That one is a lot more exciting.  At least for what you can see on the screen.  On that computer, he plays, what he calls, games.  Games are a lot interesting than those work screens.

Yup, my vote is for games.  Work, you are not getting my vote.  Your boring.

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Max our Bernese Mountain Dog with close up

Bye bye fur now